


You're a Mean One

by MrsNazarioWrites



Series: You're a Mean One [1]
Category: Choices (Visual Novel), Choices - Fandom, Choices - Stories you play, Perfect Match (Visual Novel), Pixelberry - Fandom, Play Choices, PlayChoices
Genre: Comedy, Don't copy to another site, Drunk Dialing, Drunkenness, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 21:44:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20104075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsNazarioWrites/pseuds/MrsNazarioWrites
Summary: Damien has left a meeting with a client to pick up Maya after a night of drinking. Hilarity ensues as do some relationship concerns regarding said client.





	1. You're a Mean One (Part 1)

“Please tell me you know how to defuse a bomb.”

Damien raised an eyebrow at Hayden’s odd question. “Do I even want to know?”

Hayden sighed on the other end of the phone. “Honestly? This is the best analogy I can use to describe your situation.”

He frowned. “What’s going on Hayden?”

“Long story short, Maya’s pissed at you and Nadia took her out drinking.”

His eyes widened. “At me? Why?”

“I don’t know, but they’re both at Archer and Hopps right now.”

Damien chuckled, shaking his head. “Of course they are.”

“Aaand I just got a text from Maya saying that ‘Detective Dumbass’ was gonna regret pissing her off on karaoke night.”

“Good thing I’m in a meeting right now,” he quipped, though his tone said otherwise.

“I’m serious, Damien. Shot glasses are taking up half the picture she sent me!”

He grimaced._ Crap._ They were drunk. Both of them. The Park cousins.

The Park cousins were drunk.

Damien knew from experience that that couldn’t be good for anyone. He groaned softly, hanging his head. That earned him a curious look from the woman sitting across from him, tapping her manicured nails impatiently against her pen.

He’d started working with a new client recently and she seemed to be developing a habit of changing meeting times at the last minute. Normally, this was nothing new with some of the cases he got. Clients could be unpredictable at times, much like this woman who always showed up to their meetings dressed to the nines, sitting a little too close for comfort. Damien had hoped that staying professional and keeping his distance was enough to just get through the case and be done with it …

There was a shift of movement and Damien glanced up to find her smiling at him coquettishly, one of her fingers was twirling at her blonde locks absentmindedly. At that, everything seemed to click.

_Okay, Nazario, it’s clearly time to leave now._

Damien immediately stood and began to put his files away. “All right, can you do me a favor and head over there? I’m leaving now.”

“I’m already there- look- you’ve handled them before. Any advice for me?”

“Just go with the flow for now! I’m on my way. Thanks, Hayden.”

“_What?! _What does that even-”

Damien hung up before Hayden could ask any further.

“Mr. Nazario?” The woman asked. “Is everything all right?”

“I actually have a family emergency, so I’m afraid I need to cancel.” He preoccupied himself with logging off and closing his briefcase.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that! When would you like to reschedule?”

“Umm …” He paused as he was shrugging off his jacket. “I’ll email and let you know. Sorry about that.”

“Sounds good!”

The words were barely out of her mouth as he rushed for the door.

——————————–

“Hey Flynn, right?” Hayden asked breathlessly as he dashed into the bar. “I’m looking for-” He stopped short when Flynn pointed in the direction of the stage, not even looking up from where he was wiping the counter …

A counter that was lined with used shot glasses.

Hayden groaned inwardly when he noticed Maya stumbling drunkenly onto the stage as Nadia trailed behind her, tinkering with the karaoke machine.

“Good evening New York!” Maya was lightly swaying back and forth as she clutched the mic stand. “I wanna sing a karaoke song,” She slurred. “’Cause I’ve been told it’s _romaaantic_ to serenade your dumbass boyfriend.” That earned a few chuckles from her audience.

“Yeah, you tell ’em sister!” Nadia chimed from behind, her elaborate gesturing nearly causing her to topple backwards. “You tell ’em good!”

“Come one, come all!” Maya chirped into the mic. “I’d like to dedicate this song to my handsome, idiot of a buzzkill of a boyfriend! Who I love very very much.” Then she gestured in front of her face as if to whisper. _“But don’t tell him I said that! He’s a detective! He knows everyyything!”_

“Wouldn’t dream of it, pretty lady!” A man in the audience called out.

Hayden raced around to the end of the stage and leaned toward it, hissing at Nadia. “Nadia! Maya! What do you two think you’re-”

“Shhhhh!” Nadia held a finger in front of her face, her features scrunching comically as she barely held her balance. “Don’t be rude, Hayden! The show is starting!”

Right on cue, classic band music started playing from the speakers and Maya sang along, slurring and slightly off-key.

_“Yooouuu’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch,”_

_I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!“_

Hayden shuffled nervously toward the stage, holding his hands out steadily as he thought through what to do next.

_“You’ve got garlic in your soul,”_

“You owe me big time, Nazario.”


	2. You're a Mean One (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damien has left a meeting with a client to pick up Maya after a night of drinking. Hilarity ensues as do some relationship concerns regarding said client.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Characters/canon belong to Pixelberry

Within minutes, Damien had rushed into the bar, following the sounds of Nadia’s loud, off-key singing combined with Maya’s . . . singing. He’d found Hayden sandwiched between Nadia and Maya, reluctantly singing _The Grinch_ alongside them. Once the song was finished, Damien walked onto the stage to lead her away, ignoring the laughter of the other patrons as she said, “I’m not going anywhere until you apologize for being such a grinch!”

“Remember what I said Maya!” Nadia cut in. “Don’t forget to give that man-stealer what-for!”

“Maya, Nadia,” Hayden said gently. “I already sang with you guys like you wanted. Now how about we listen to Damien and call it a night? You’ve had a lot to drink.”

“Are you kidding? We’re just getting started. You’ll never catch me!” Nadia exclaimed, only for Hayden to catch her when she nearly stumbled off of the stage. He promptly threw her over his shoulder as if she were a burlap sack.

He smirked. “You were saying?”

“Uggghhh,” Nadia groaned. “Stupid robot strength.”

“More like stupid ‘bro code’.” Maya grumbled. “You just _had_ to tell Damien, didn’t you?”

Damien slipped his arms around her waist and gently walked her towards the entrance. “Pretty sure you’ll be thanking me for this tomorrow.”

Maya turned to him curiously. “Why, are we gonna have sex in your office now?!” She demanded loudly. The entire room went silent and all eyes were on the four of them.

Damien cleared his throat awkwardly, his cheeks flaming. “No comment.”

————————-

After Hayden had driven off to Steve’s place with Nadia, Damien proceeded to continue leading Maya towards his car.

“Damien,” she whined. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you overdo it on the shots.” He tugged her hips, ushering her along “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

“I did the shots because I’m mad at you.”

“Yes.” Damien heaved a long sigh. “I’m aware of that. Hayden filled me in. We’ll talk about this in the morning, okay?” Suddenly, he felt himself being lurched forward and barely caught himself from falling. “Whoa, what?!” When he looked down, Maya was sitting cross-legged on the sidewalk. He stood straight and crossed his arms. “Maya, what are you-”

She mimicked his position. “No. We’re talking about this now.” Damien watched in bemusement as she attempted a stubborn glare, but under the influence of alcohol, her features had twisted into a pout instead. He couldn’t help the slight twitch of his lips at how adorable she looked. Had this been any other situation, he would’ve even considered taking a picture . . .

But Damien was also acutely aware of people walking by, whispering curiously at this sight. With that in mind, he glanced back and forth, then lowered his voice as he walked towards Maya. “Maya, people are watching.”

“Sooo?”

“So, we need to go. You’re causing a disturbance.”

“Disturbance schmishturbance . . . wait.” She frowned, seeming to contemplate her choice of words and she proceeded to point a finger, punctuating her re-attempts at the made-up word. “Smish . . . shturb . . . schturbulance . . . wait, no that still sounds wrong.”

“All right.” Damien wasn’t even going to try pointing out the flaw in her drunken logic, nor was he going to encourage it by laughing at her, which was getting increasingly difficult to do. Shaking his head, he knelt down, looking directly into her eyes. “Babe? What do you say we talk more about this tomorrow when you can actually form words, and-”

Even as he said that, she began giggling. “Oooh so formal. You are sooo sexy.”

This time he couldn’t hold back his chuckle. “And in the mean time, whatever it is I did to make you mad, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah you came here from your _meeting_ didn’t you?” She questioned. “With _her_?”

Damien sighed, knowing who she was referring to. He thought back to his earlier meeting with said client that had been interrupted by Hayden’s call._ So that’s what this is all about. _The fact that many of his clients were women wasn’t exactly a secret to Maya. But this one seemed to put her off lately; given her late availability, the way she dressed and behaved around him. Damien had done his part in staying professional, of course.

But apparently that hadn’t stopped Maya’s mood from going sour whenever he had to stay late for a meeting. A few days ago, it’d become a subject of argument when she’d come to surprise him with lunch at work and seen this woman still sitting in his office.

“So you got yourself drunk tonight because you’re jealous of her.”

“Nooo,” she said as if the answer were obvious. “I don’t need to be jealous. I’m _hot_. Humans and robots alike have been in love with me.”

He furrowed his brows, genuinely confused. “Then what is it?” When she didn’t answer, he prodded at her elbow. “Maya, what are you worried about?” Even as he said that, everything was starting to make much more sense to him now.

“I’m . . . thinking . . .” She swayed from side to side as she thought on what to say, smacking her lips together, as a contrast to the serious expression on her face. “Do you know if she was wearing lace?”

Damien hung his head, taking a deep breath. “You really think I’d know something like that?”

“Nooo.” Using the same tone as before, she frowned comically. “_I_ wanna know where the hell she thinks she’s getting off. Lace is _my_ default outfit when my clothes are off.”

“I-”

“She’s trying to steal my man! And I don’t like you meeting with her.”

Damien smiled gently at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, from where it’d ended up in front of her face during her tirade. Obviously they needed to have a discussion about this. But it couldn’t happen when she was drunk and upset.

It wasn’t as though he could ignore a client; he still had to have meetings whenever necessary. He’d only have grounds to let her go if she actively started acting inappropriately, which wasn’t the case just yet. “Maya, I promise we will talk more about this tomorrow. But I will say _this_.” He tilted her chin so she was looking directly into his eyes. “I’ve fought robots to protect you, I’ve crossed the seas for you. _No one_ is going to change that. I’m yours.”

“Really?”

He grinned, feeling his heart skip a beat at how her eyes lit up at that. “Really. I understand where you’re coming from and I’m being careful on my end. You _absolutely_ can trust me. Okay?”

“Mmm . . . okay.” She cocked her head to the side, watching him curiously, then smiled and lifted her arms, reaching for him. “Can you carry me?” She slurred cutely.

“What are you, five?”

“Pleeeeaaaase?” All it took were those beautiful brown eyes of hers, watching him eagerly, and Damien knew he was done for.

He sighed. “All right then, hold on tight.” He wrapped one arm around her waist, hooked his other arm under her knees and lifted her into his arms bridal-style prompting a soft ‘whee!’ from her. She slid her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Happy now?”

“Yes!” She cheered loudly, and then much to his embarrassment, shouted to the rest of the crowd nearby. “You hear that everyone? This grumpus machine is _mine_!” She continued babbling drunkenly even as he lowered her into his car’s passenger seat and started driving.

Once they were home, Damien carried her up the stairs and into their apartment, taking care not to let Maya bump into anything on the way. “Easy girl, we’re almost there.” He guided her into the bedroom and gently lay her down.

Her eyes were unfocused, though shining with a vulnerability as she held onto him. “I feel so hot,” she mumbled. “I wanna take a shower.”

“Not in this state, you can’t. You’ll slip and fall.” He held out his water bottle towards her. “Drink some of this for now.” Damien chuckled when she let out a sigh of relief. His amusement quickly changed to shock when she opened the bottle and tipped it over her head. “Wait! I said drink it-”

Maya ignored him and proceeded to pour the water over her head with one hand, while massaging her hair with the other. “Ohhh yes, that feels soooo much better.”

Damien groaned and put his head in his hands as she giggled some more at his exasperation. He went to the bathroom and retrieved a few towels. “Is this your way of punishing me for whatever I did?”

Maya shot him a lopsided grin as she returned the emptied bottle to him. “If it helps, you can return the favor . . .” He merely rolled his eyes and began drying her hair for her. “I mean, think about it.” She batted her eyelashes innocently. “I been such a _bad_ girl tonight . . . what with my hot body.” she licked her lips. “Now _so wet_ for the taking.”

He immediately stopped what he was doing, maintained a level stare with her, then planted a firm kiss on her lips, barely grimacing at the strong taste of tequila. When he pulled back, she swayed in place, eliciting a smug grin from him. “Nice try, but I’m not having sex with you when you’re this drunk.” Damien pulled down the sheets on the drier side of the bed and pointed there.

“Aww,” she pouted and lay down in the spot he was indicating. “You’re no fun.” Just then, his phone started to ring. In spite of her drunken state, Maya lunged forward and yanked it out of his hands.

“Maya, what the hell-?!” She held up a hand, shushing him. Damien watched as her expression morphed from curiosity to anger at the feminine voice on the other line. Then an idea seemed to occur to her and she suddenly smiled very sweetly.

_Oh no, this can’t be good._ “Maya, give me the phone _now_,” he hissed. But it was already too late.

“Hellllooo, this is Mr. Nazario’s _girlfriend_ and you’ve reached his cellphone.” She shifted to sit on her knees as she struggled to contain her bubbling laughter. “He can’t come to the phone right now, ’cause we’re having sex!”

His jaw dropped. _“Maya!”_

“Yeah, that’s right! And in the chair where _you_ were sitting!” That only served to encourage her further and she puffed her chest out proudly, in spite of how much she was slurring. “If this is an emergency,” she pointed a finger and gestured at nothing in particular. “Please hang up, dial 911 and find another man to chase. ‘Cause this one’s _mine_, lady! Thank you for calling, this is a live voicemail.” She hung up and then burst into high-pitched laughter as she fell forward into her sheets.

Damien immediately took his phone back, looking at the recent caller and he let out an inaudible sigh of relief. As he started texting a reply to the person she’d _actually_ talked to, he watched from the corner of his eye as she curled into the bedsheets; having to bite his lip to keep it together.

“I sure showed her,” she murmured. “Damien, tell Nadia, I showed her.”

“Yes, you sure did.” His shoulders were shaking with laughter as he struggled to finish his response to the caller:

_“Mind telling me what that was all about, Nazario?”_

_“One of my more . . . ‘interesting’ clients called and I hung up on her. You happened to call a second later. Maya answered thinking it was her and decided to tell her off. Sorry about that.”_

Damien could practically feel her sighing in derision from wherever she was right now.

_“What fresh hell did you get into this time?” _Then another message followed. _“actually nvm, I don’t wanna know.”_

_“Hey you asked! And why do you assume _I _did something?”_

_“First off, experience. And second, ur a dumbass.”_

_“Nice talking to you too. Now what were you calling for?”_

_“I was GOING to say I have the information you requested on that jewelry store. I’ll be emailing it shortly, assuming you can get your shit together in the mean time???”_

He felt a wide grin spreading on his face the second that message appeared on the screen.

_“Will do. Thanks a lot. I’ll look into it tomorrow.”_

_“No problem. Give Maya my regards.”_

Shaking his head, Damien locked his phone and then set it down, pointedly watching his girlfriend and-hopefully-something-more-soon. “You just can’t stay out of trouble, can you?”

“Hmm . . . I dunno . . . Idon’ wan . . .” Maya began mumbling intelligibly into her pillow as she seemed to start drifting off to sleep.

“Well, Alana sends her regards. I’m sure you’ll have a lot to talk about in the morning.”

“Mmmm . . . hmmm . . .” She murmured. “I love you . . .”

“I love you too, dummy.” Now with the newest information he had at hand, Damien shifted in place nervously. Despite her current state, he couldn’t help wondering what was going on in her mind right now. And more than ever, he definitely wanted any doubts off the table. “About before . . . you know there’s nothing to worry about, right?”

Maya didn’t respond this time, only beginning to reach around her blindly, frowning slightly. Damien climbed into bed and pulled her into his arms, softly kissing her temple. No doubt he was going to have to repeat all this in the morning, but he wanted to say this now, if even for the chance that she’d remember it in her dreams tonight.

“I love you, Maya. I always have and I always will. You’re the only one for me.” He felt her smile against his skin and she snuggled further into him.

“I know you do . . . say it again . . . tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow and for the rest of my life too.”


End file.
